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Take what you read with a grain of salt! San Juan is like any major US city If that gives you any perspective. You'll find plenty of straight males to mingle with in San Juan.
Others too, if you wish! Something for everyone! I think Frommers was trying to say that Condado will give you more the experience of being in US city there's grafitti on some fences,bldgs, etc while, Isla Verde is more the "hotel zone" with the protected beach and all.
That said: both areas are a short cab ride to Old San Juan where alot of the coolest places to see are. It's so pretty,too! If your main concern is the better beach, go Isla Verde. Regarding those hotel choices, I cannot speak to those-never stayed in them. Hi sweety, i think your best bet is to rent a studio apartment in the same area, for example ESJ Towers offers a variety of studios and one bedroom apts for a fraction of the cost of a hotel, and they have a small kitchen so u can even cook something while there, the surroundings areas are ok, you wouldnt see none of what you talking about, a great nightlife with Lupis Pub around the corner La placita de Snturce its great at night, you'll find it great place to meet people,good food and dance, Laser Disco, Plaza las Americas the biggest mall in the caribbean, etc I'll be there myself in June, i rented an apt.
My emails is louielou gmail. My husband and I stayed at the Coral Beach Condos in Isla Verde last May, for our honeymoon and we had no problems with people on the streets or feeling unsafe. I enjoyed this area, it has a wonderful beach and is only a short cab ride to OSJ.